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Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Super Diet- How to Lose 5lbs in 24 hours

It's all the rage among Mom's today and I bet if you're a Mom you've totally done it.  I'm talking about The Super Diet, where you can lose up to 5lbs in 24 hours by simply catching the stomach bug your kids have.  It's awesome!  I did it this week and I look fabulous even with the pale and sickly look, which I can totally cover up with makeup.  If your kid isn't sick just go to the park or a public bathroom or better yet the sick kid waiting room at any doctors office.  I bet you could catch it even if you didn't try.

How it works:

You catch a nasty stomach bug from one of your adorable children, or worse someone else's.
You writhe in agony as you attempt to get your children showered and in bed before you have to use the bathroom again for the tenth time.
You survive the night after adorable children #'s 3 and 4 join you in your bed in the middle of the night, #3 decides to sleep with her feet on your pillow and you wake up via foot to the face.
You don't eat breakfast for fear that you will defecate all over yourself while dropping them off at school.
You eat an oreo for snack time and send the little one's outside with 3 each so you can at least load the dishwasher.  Hey that oreo will just make it's way out soon anyways right?  All part of the diet.
You skip lunch for the same reason you skipped breakfast, wouldn't want to ruin all of this dieting by having to do more of your own laundry, it would also make for a really long car rider line at school.
Your husband calls and offers to bring home pizza for dinner.  You gladly accept and eat a slice out of shear starvation and well its pizza.  You skip the beer because that might be pushing it.
You wake up the next day and you've miraculously lost 5lbs.
Easy peasy, right?

Here is my Super Diet secret, I'll be happy to let her breath on you ;)

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